brush strokes

I'm painting today. First time in a long time. Have not felt settled enough paint in years, not sure why. Realized that my brush strokes came back very quickly. I am more of a sketch artist than painter. I was struggling with the easel, so I picked up the painting and used my brush as a pencil. Less risk of drips as well. Little aspects of how to use a brush came back to me. How to nudge up to a line; how to sweep an area and twisting the bristles to keep the flow of paint smooth; An artful dab of the corner of the brush. All this takes confidence and ease. I could feel myself becoming more grounded and present.

Am I doing damage to my brush? How I recklessly manipulate the bristles, like stroking the hair of cat the wrong way. A brush is nothing but a means to an end.